Some days are easy, everything goes as usual, no hidden problems waiting for you around the corner, these are the days we tend to forget. Then there are the tough days, when nothing fits right, you forget about an appointment or you’re just overwhelmed, these days are remembered as I could have, should have etc. These are the days I wander into the garden.
The garden is always there for me and I mean that in every way. When I’m frustrated, I can pull weeds until the feeling subsides. The hard work breaks down the anger and the accomplishments make me smile. When I’m sad and feeling blue, I can just stand in my window and gaze at the garden. I can see all the work and love that went into the garden and I feel happy.
Lately it’s turning 50 that really has me off balance. Have I accomplished what I wanted? Am I trying hard enough to get to where I want to be? Is it just too late? These are the questions that are unanswerable. When I wake from the daze, I’m almost always staring off into the garden
I think of my Grandpa John and all he left behind. A beautiful family that values education and the environment. His seeds are scattered all over this country and I just know we will carry on the traditions of gardening and enjoying the great outdoors. Being kind to our neighbors and leaving tomatoes on unsuspecting stoops.
My legacy? What will I leave behind? I believe I’m still working on it, a work in progress, if you will. At 49, I know I have a lot of dreams yet to fulfill. As the Police Officer asked me the other day, in the overcrowded Gorge Parking Lot, “You got this?”. I believe I do, I answered. And I do believe.